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24 Aug

Body Language Skills: Know how much eye-contact is too much

Eye-contact is good; too much eye-contact is bad. Direct eye-contact held for more than seven seconds is a form of  aggressive behavior.

Sure, in the U.S. we’re all trained to look one another in the eye while communicating. As Americans, however, we also have one of the most aggressive communication styles on the planet.

Remember that if you’re in a job interview, talking to a client, a co-worker, or your boss–if you feel as though 10 seconds or so has passed without breaking contact with eyes, just quickly glance over the other person’s shoulder and then back again. This quick glance-away should be almost undetectable; it should be quick and natural, as most people do while communicating with others. If you make it a point not to break the eye-contact because you want to prove your communication prowess, what you’ll end up doing is simply making the other person feel uncomfortable, and it’s very difficult to accomplish any worth-while communication goal if this is the point from which you start.

Body Language Skills: How much eye-contact is too much?
Body Language Skills: How much eye-contact is too much?

Furthermore, are you someone who has been told that you can be a little “intimidating” when you communicate with others?

Then in addition to the break-the-eye-contact rule, remember this as well: If the person looking at you can see the entire iris (the colored part) of your eye for a prolonged period of time, it may be perceived as not just a form of aggressive behavior, but as a sign of psychosis–which it is.

Eye-contact in communication has cultural roots.  If you are not from North or South America, take a moment to research what might be YOUR cultural norm.  And please leave a comment about it!  I would very much appreciate that.


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If you’re looking for professional development training from the world’s best, Dan O’Connor is a keynote speaker and author specializing in communication skills, and Dan is the creator of “Tactical Communication Skills Training System” which has revolutionized the communication training industry.  Check out all Dan’s videos, books, audios, and other resources at https://www.danoconnortraining.com/

When you’re ready to bring your customer service to a new level and rid your office of toxicity, bring Dan right onsite to your business or government office. Go to Dan O’Connor Training and email us for a quote.

Dan O’Connor specializes in delivering strategic verbal patterns, danger phrases, power phrases, lead-in lines, closing lines, freestyle scripts, and other specific tactics that participants can immediately use to achieve instant results both at work and at home.

Thousands of individuals listen each day to Dan’s online podcasts and watch his videos, and the nations leading businesses have had Dan come onsite to help with creating healthier relationships, a more positive work environment, a superior customer service force, and an atmosphere that promotes and values all of the people ­­all of the time.

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