Communication Strategies: Danger Phrases and Power Phrases, Body Language Tactics, Dealing with Difficult People at Work and SO MUCH MORE
Let me give an example–-a quick one–a danger phrase that blocks communication. “Let’s agree to disagree” or “I disagree.” Did you know that these phrases actually elicit a physical negative response in the hearer–one that would register on a lie detector test, e.g.? You automatically make the listener defensive when you use these words. Change the “I disagree” to “I see things differently” and watch what happens. Simply saying “I see things differently” is not confrontational. Your listener will not be thinking of ways to counter what you’re saying (while you’re talking, btw), the way he/she would be doing if you were saying “well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” DON’T SAY THAT–unless you want a fight, of course. Effective communication strategies allow you to engage in mindful communication–with a goal of reaching an understanding. It’s not about scoring points and trying to win a debate. That is reserved for debate class; scoring points has no place in civil discourse. A good rule of thumb before choosing your words would be: Am I trying to persuade? Am I trying to understand? Do I want to be understood? Or am I showing off and trying to “win”? Usually in “winning” we alienate and lose our audience. People don’t want to lose; they want to understand and be understood.
Just as Dan gives you danger and power phrases in this video–to help with your communication skills–he gives you body language tactics and tips for dealing with difficult people at work. For example, Dan goes over the “Surrender” principle–three steps that will allow you to give in to the thinking/strategy of the other regarding an issue that is NOT paramount to you, knowing that you’re paving the way for their listening and supporting YOU when you next need that support on an issue/program/solution that IS paramount to you. You give them support and respect on their issue (which is not your issue) in the hopes that in the future, they will remember that, and support YOU (when the issue is very important to YOU.)
Want to know how to say NO?? Keep watching the video. (Spoiler alert–Follow your simple “no” with the broken record. Works every time with the annoying pest who doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer.)
If you need 30-minutes of tips about effective communication strategies, body language tips, and dealing with difficult people tactics–if you are looking for the specific words–you’ve come to the right video! There is so much more, but I wanted to give you just a hint of what this video covers. Welcome to real, serious, effective, tactical communication with Dan O’Connor–Dan O’Connor who gives you the words.
If your organization could use a practiced and internationally acclaimed keynote speaker at your next event or convention, contact Dan at danoconnortraining.com. Or if you just want more online solutions and help with effective communication skills, interpersonal skills, and/or customer service skills, go to danoconnortraining.com and look around at the free resources and premium materials designed to help you achieve your objectives. Remember, Dan doesn’t focus on meaningless communication theory that you memorize and never use. Dan gives you the words you can use to change your communication patters, your personal relationships and yes–your life.