Remember to download the complete kit including your affirmation card below!
Professional #communicationskills expert and #communicationcoach Dan O'Connor gives you specific examples of #gaslighting in a relationship and how to recognize gaslighting at work with examples so you'll be able to avoid gaslighting other people: what it sounds like.
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/store for all Dan's communication skills coaching programs and advanced communication training resources
When somebody's gaslighting you it's about you and it's calling into question your reasoning & your thinking; it's designed to take the focus off the subject at hand (that you're probably bringing up) and instead place it on you and your thought process and why you are that way and it's intended to get you to doubt your thinking.
That is not okay.
When somebody's gaslighting you it's about you and it's calling into question your reasoning; your thinking; it's designed to take the focus off of the subject at hand that you're probably bringing up and instead place it on you and your thought process and why you are that way and it's intended to get you to doubt your thinking--that is not okay
It's okay if somebody challenges us; it's okay if somebody questions our actions; it's okay if somebody calls out our behavior; it is not okay if somebody tries to get us to question our sanity.
That is not okay
So be cautious of that whether you're concerned about gaslighting at work or you're concerned about gaslighting in a relationship.
Here's the type of thing to look for: Now, remember gaslighting generally comes when you bring up something that you're not happy with or that you're concerned about and they respond to it with gaslighting.
So gaslighting isn't generally something that people do just to make you crazy--it happens--but generally, it's when you bring up something--the strategy of a gaslighter is to take the focus off of what you're addressing and instead place it on you.
Here's what it sounds like:
"I don't know what happened to make you this way, but I'm not engaging."
"Can you hear yourself? Seriously--you want me to set up an appointment with somebody?"
"Are you crazy?" "Hey--you don't see me doing that, do you?"
"I really feel sorry for you."
"I'm sorry you think that way."
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"I suggest reflecting on why you think that."
"I never said that."
"That is not at all what happened. You are remembering it all wrong."
"You're really making a big deal out of this."
"Here you go again; really, do you have to do this every time?"
"Hey--I'm not the problem here. Have you considered that maybe you're the problem--that maybe this is happening to you over and over again? It's not happening to me."
"My god--I was just joking--what's wrong with you? Where's your sense of humor? Don't be so sensitive all the time!"
It also sounds like i don't know what happened to make you this way but i'm not engaging can you hear yourself seriously you want me to set up an appointment with somebody are you crazy hey you don't see me doing that do you i really feel sorry for you i'm sorry you think that way i'm sorry you feel that way i suggest reflecting on why you think that i never said that That is not at all what happened you are remembering it all wrong you're really making a big deal out of this here you go again really do you have to do this every time hey i'm not the problem here have you considered that maybe you're the problem that maybe this is happening to you over and over again it's not happening to me my god i was just joking i was just joking what's wrong with you where's Your sense of humor don't be so sensitive all the time and i'd like you to share with me because i will have one day between this video and the next one to address some specific gaslighting comments that people may have made to you so if you could let me know in the comments what are the types of things that people have said to you that make you question are they gaslighting me am i being gaslighted or what things maybe have you Done where you think now i might have been gaslighting somebody it's okay we all make mistakes as long as we recognize them and stop them but if you could share with me your examples of gaslighting i would really appreciate that no notice how all of those comments are not about an issue you know i can bring up anything you know i can say hey i'm concerned because i'm working too much overtime And somebody's response could be can you hear yourself you know don't be such a complainer are you crazy there you go you don't hear me complaining about it again taking the focus off of the subject at hand that you're trying to address and placing it instead on you or in a relationship i'm concerned that our budget's just going out of control you don't make such a big deal out of everything it's just you Know one bounce check why do you always have to do this right taking it off the bounce check and on to you you know instead of if i see that caller id one more time i'm going to call them and put an end to it why do you have to make such a big deal out of it are you crazy have you been sleeping enough have you been getting a hello Taking it off the caller id and on to you and trying to get you to question your thought process your sanity your ideals your way of thinking that's never okay however you come to conclusions whatever your thought process is whatever your values are whatever your boundaries are whatever your rules are they're yours and that's okay and if somebody isn't okay with that That's okay so in this next video i'm going to tell you exactly how to respond when you believe that somebody is in fact gaslighting you and trying to get you to question your thought process or who you are are you ready make sure to hit that subscribe button in the notification bell for more videos like this and remember to share this video with people who you think might need it and might be Being gaslighted or gas lighters and if you find value in this share it on places like facebook and twitter and wherever people go to get information like this
For more, go to https://www.danoconnortraining.com