Dan O'Connor Training
How to Deal with Workplace Bullying
36:44
 

How to Deal with Workplace Bullying

How to Deal with Workplace Bullying

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https://youtu.be/D2fduv6HHgY?si=enKeoW5oaYN_UFmB Here are the five steps to that will eliminate the possibility of workplace bulling for you:

1. First, learn to see cause and effect to identify and eliminate the real problem so you can stop bullying for good.

2. Second, escape the phajaan and regain your power from toxic bullies.

3. Third, build an impressive resume to create more options for yourself and establish your financial independence at work.

4. Fourth, consistently follow the rules to maintain an impeccable reputation and workplace relationships that are beyond reproach.

5. And fifth, establish a freedom fund so you won't compromise your dignity and principles for a paycheck.this is an image of what it feels like to deal with workplace bullying

Now, let's start by debunking the awful advice that's circulating. This is the most common advice you'll find, and I have to assume it's all written by charletons, AI, or a combination of both:

  • Identify and admit the existence of bullying. What does this imply? Obviously, I'm admitting it.
  • Record the occurrences. Why should I do that? Don't bother.
  • Establish a circle of support. I'm not even sure what that implies.
  • Face the bully. Ah, that's an excellent suggestion.
  • Report the bullying incidents. To whom? The bully enforcement or something?
  • Look for outside help. What? Like support stockings or something?
  • Understand your rights. To put it simply, you don't have any.
  • Maintain good health.
  • Devise a way out. That's the only piece of advice that's worth anything.

Before I proceed to the actual solutions, I need to clarify a few things. First and foremost, remember that we only have one relationship.

This is akin to any toxic relationship. If you're involved in a toxic relationship, they will either become a victim or a perpetrator. That's the lesson you're imparting. It's impossible to conceal.

The reason we usually avoid discussing it is due to our embarrassment.

You need to address the core issue for both personal and professional empowerment. Not just for your sake, but for your children and everyone else in your life who has been enduring the pain with you. Because they have been hurting. And it's high time to cease inflicting that on them.

Just to clarify, if I haven't already, HR is not on your side. HR will never be on your side. HR and workplace bullying have nothing to do with one another. Forget it. It's about you, not HR.

If you've heard otherwise, that's a myth.

Okay, so I've outlined the five key points for how to handle bullying in the workplace.

Let's kick off with the first one.

You need to accurately identify and differentiate between cause and effect. Without this ability, problem-solving becomes impossible.

Here's what I'm getting at:

Imagine it's the festive season. These are the items being gifted to us during this holiday.

Now, is your inability to articulate your thoughts a cause of your problem, or is it an effect of your problem? Which one is it?

It's an effect. If you lack the appropriate words to counteract bullying, if you're at a loss for words, you tend to ignore it.

The reason you grapple with finding the right words is because you haven't dedicated enough time to professional communication training. This cycle will persist until you tackle the underlying cause. 

Releasing others from the obligation of your joy will also unburden yourself from unnecessary loads.

Bear in mind, entrusting your joy to others is not a viable long-term strategy.

If you find yourself weighed down by the happiness of others, cease depending on others for your personal joy.

It's a remarkable change that can occur in a single relationship.

In terms of your boss being rude, it's a consequence.

Contemplate your previous experiences and gain wisdom from them to uphold self-esteem and honor.

I'm about to present you with a unique reward.

If you can predict or perhaps already know the nickname I was assigned, jot it down in the comments. The first one to get it right will receive a complimentary one-year membership to the Inner Circle.

Now, keep this in mind. It's common for most people.

They begin with these dreams and ideas about what they will express when they finally have the chance. When they are in control.

How they will converse with this individual. What they will disclose to that person. How they will react the next time such a situation arises.

You can count on this. What you'll discover is that you won't utter the words you're currently contemplating. You won't perform the actions you're considering.

You won't seek revenge on these bullies, nor will you entertain thoughts of doing so once you have learned how to handle workplace bullying.

Let me explain why.

Dealing with workplace bullying is not about finding forgiveness or dwelling on it. It's about reaching a point where it doesn't even cross your mind anymore. 

When you build your mental resilience and become someone who cannot be bullied, those bullies who currently serve as master teachers in your life will gradually fade away.

You'll wake up one day and realize, "Wow, I don't even think about them anymore." It's as if they vanish from your day-to-day existence. 

Equip yourself with the tools to overcome challenges and watch these individuals disappear from your life.

level one thinking leads to level one problems such as bullying and other problems with workplace communicationCombatting workplace bullying or toxic coworkers right now is a Level 1 problem.

You won't be able to progress to Level 2 until you address this issue. Remember, Level 1 problems aren't the cause; they're the result.

The real cause lies in Level 1 thinking. Therefore, we need to shift our mindset.

I'll continue with the rest of the article in the following messages. Let me know if you need any adjustments or additional formatting!

 This isn't about simply reciting affirmations or believing in the power of positive thinking. It's about changing the way we process information, how we perceive ourselves in comparison to others, and recognizing our own value and purpose.

When we change our approach to dealing with bullying in the workplace, we undergo a personal transformation, which propels us to Level two.

Those who have achieved something, discovered their power, recognized their purpose and mission, don't waste their time talking about toxic coworkers, office bullies, backstabbing, or gossiping.

My hope for you is that you move up to Level 2. I have insights for Level 2 as well, which is why I'm willing to share them so freely. I'm not claiming to be a saint; I'm simply generous out of self-interest.

But I genuinely want you to graduate from Level 1. Because, you see, Level 1 thinking produces Level 1 problems.

Once you reach Level 2, you'll face a different set of challenges. It won't be the same as what you're experiencing now. That will become a thing of the past.

The first step is understanding the difference between cause and effect.

And pay attention when you engage with Level 1 individuals, you'll recognize them as the gossipers, victims, beggars, time-suckers, and energy vampires at work. They operate on Level 1.

When you start to talk to them about cause and effect. We know, what do you think? Is that the cause or is that the effect? Ask them.

The Phajaan is interesting.

I'll put a link in the description below for more information, but here's the deal.

The Phajaan is a disgusting process that elephants go through as babies to groom them as lifelong slaves, stripping them of their dignity and power.

When an elephant is a baby, they are put in a box and tortured. Only half of them survive this process. I discovered this when I was looking for paintings made by elephants on YouTube.

They're not the painter, they're the brush. Why don't they fight back? Why don't they break the chains? Because they are phajaan'd.

The handler can control them just by looking at them a certain way.

They believe they are helpless. They see things that aren't there and ignore what's actually there.

They can break the chains and walk through walls, but they often go crazy in the streets because they never had proper guidance.

It's all because of the Fajan. In the U.S., we call it high school. Many of us haven't gotten over this high school Fajan.

We've been phajaan'd and can't see our own power.

If you knew how capable you are of solving this bullying problem, you would realize it's easy and you have everything you need. 

I understand if you don't believe it right now. It's time to wake up and recognize what's going on here.

Wait a minute. Why am I not breaking my chains? Why am I letting you steal my power?

What is going on here? That's step one. Realizing, oh my gosh, I've been fooled. I've been crazy. I've been hallucinating and seeing things that are not real.

Like these bully people who, we all know, you know, why they're bullies.

We all know because they do not feel as if they have power, they have been disempowered, they're scared, whatever it may be.

My workplace is not a place of personal therapy. And I want you to remember that and say that with me.

My workplace is not a place of personal therapy. It is not my concern. Your concern is not my concern.

Take ownership of your problems. Unfortunately, we all have them. I'm not taking yours on because I can't.

Because I cannot release you from your concerns. Just like you can't release me from mine.

I have to escape the concerns and get over it all by myself.

And recognizing that's what's going on is step one. And realizing what, there will come a day, very shortly, where you will look back and think, I don't know what I was thinking.

It's okay. You're forgiven.

I mean, it's a big deal when you forgive. So escape. Okay.

this is what a woman looks like who has solved her problems with bullies at workAnd next, have a freedom fund. What a freedom fund is, is a six months backup plan in the bank.

And I encourage you to put six months in there as much as you possibly can. And a lot of people are thinking, wait a minute, I can't do that.

 

And the reason I'm there is because I need that paycheck so much at the end of the week.

Remember, you needing that paycheck is not the cause of your suffering, it is the effect of your choices.

Is workplace harassment making you miserable? Well, let me tell you something important. It's not your boss's fault, it's yours. You have the power to change your situation.

 

Don't blame dealing with bullies at work or your boss for your unhappiness. It's all about the choices you make in life. Remember, you are the cause of your own relationships and experiences.

 

Here's the key: you are not at the mercy of anyone else. Not even your boss. Their lack of love doesn't affect you because lovelessness isn't even a real thing.

 

But we all know that we need a paycheck to survive. That's why it's important to have a financial safety net. Putting six months of income in the bank is more important than anything else.

 

Having a secure financial foundation gives you clarity of thought. And when you have that freedom, everything changes. People will see you differently, and most importantly, you will see yourself differently.

Keep track of your value by writing in a journal. It'll help you understand your worth and improve your skills.

Remember, you'll be paid based on the value you bring to your workplace. So make sure you have a solid skill set and a great resume!

 

If you need help, just let me know. Your future is full of opportunities!

It's your ticket to not taking shit from assholes.

And what this will be for you is options.

office filled with professionals who are celebrating after conquering office bullyingOptions, you know, when you go looking for a job, it can feel like you're competing with others and waiting for that call to see if someone will give you a job.

When the offers start coming in, you can let people know that you're considering other options.

You can take your time and think about it. It's okay to tell them that you'll get back to them, maybe on Monday.

Let them wait for your call. That's how it should be.

Ideally, we have a win-win relationship at work. I'm not doing you any favors, and you're not doing me any favors. It's a mutual benefit.

And I have options. I have freedom. I have skills. I have dignity. I have my word and my principles. I haven't taken any nonsense here.

You can start changing this dynamic today. It might take time, maybe a year or two.

But during that time, you'll ensure that this will never happen to you again.

And when that transformation is complete, you'll walk into your next job or into your current job as a whole different person.

You'll be immune to bullies. You'll clearly see the cause and effect and have clarity.

You'll know your power and won't give it away to others. You'll have your showcase resume, giving you options.

You'll have your freedom fund in the bank, giving you dignity and the ability to speak from principle.

You'll know the rules and follow them, making you beyond reproach.

You'll know exactly what to do and have done it. And now, you'll walk in your power.

That's how you do it. And you'll never be bullied again.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullying

Dec 29, 2023